On The Phone

I have recently been experiencing a very peculiar phenomenon.

We all know that some people (most people?) behave very differently depending on whether they are on a one-on-one basis or part of a larger crowd. Of course, this is usually a very childish trait, and most intelligent, balanced adults at least try to be consistent in that regard. (I know, this whole paragraph does not make any sense. Forgive me.)

Well, I think I have just discovered a new kind of behavior. And it's big. Have you ever met someone who would be absolutely adorable whenever you spend some time with them, but who could become an absolute bitch/prick on the phone?

I'm not kidding. God knows I'm not kidding. I've been dating a girl, and it's been amazing. Really. She's fresh, she's pretty, she's smart, she's witty. Every minute spent with her is an endless source of happiness. Having met her through mutual friends, I actually never had to call her on the phone until last week. At this point, I guess I have to clarify a little bit: I hate cell phones so much, I don't even have one anymore. So I don't like to use the phone, be it my home phone or some friend's cell phone.

I called her last week to arrange a meeting. A meeting with my best friend and her best friend. I guess everybody knows about the specific stage of a relationship when each party's best friend comes into play. It's the stage where you try to assess whether your worlds are compatible. If they are, you can peacefully move on to the next step. But if they're not, it's the George Costanza situation. You have to make sure your relationship never collides with your normal life. That can be very, very perilous.

But this is not the point here. Here is the point: she was an absolute bitch on the phone! Not even the same voice! I mean, of course it was the same voice. That was her talking. But you know, it was like the evil her talking, saying stuff like "I don't know if we're gonna be able to make it tonight," or like "OK I don't know. Let me call you back." I totally agree in advance: you could also say those things in a very gentle way. Believe me, she wasn't being gentle.

I really thought I had done something wrong. Guys do the wrong thing all the time, and they don't realize they even did something. Especially me. So we met. And then my lovely date was here again. Just as pleasant as before. We had a great time. And yes, the best friends like each other. I could even feel some attraction between them, but my best friend isn't single anymore.

So I forgot about the phone episode... Until last night. I had to call to set up a new meeting, this time with more best friends on each side. I have to tell you, I was being very, very cautious and careful, and slow with this one, because she seemed like a very nice person, and also because it's the best way to handle a JAP, and it would make my mom sooooo happy. Anyways. On the phone again last night, the angry bitch from hell was back!

I couldn't handle it this time. I had to ask. So I asked. My question (something like, "Why are you being such a bitch on the phone," but maybe it wasn't that straightforward, but the substance was the same) was met with very little empathy. She didn't scream, but by now I know, she's not a screamer. She hung up.

I haven't called back... yet. Should I? And, more importantly, why does she have to be a bitch on the phone?