Friday, February 9, 2007

Need Intel.

I know it's been a long time -- I mean, three weeks in blogger years is probably close to a couple of centuries in the real world. In any event, I am back with a hot (albeit not very original) dilemma.

So here's what's going on. Imagine you'd been living a different, separate life for, say, the past three years. Now, imagine that, after three years, you kinda came back to your former life for a little while. In that former life you had many friends, whom you still like a lot, and you also had a girlfriend, whom you still like a lot too, even though you wouldn't call it love. So she became a friend.

Imagine, further, that the girlfriend were now dating one of those friends you like a lot -- or, more specifically, a friend of one of those. Someone you had always known because he was always around, even though you were never best friends at all. This is not the core of the problem, though: there was a breakup, and it wasn't contentious, and she did not start dating him right after the breakup.

As a matter of fact, imagine you even happened to think those two make a very nice couple. If you had to be pretentious, you'd say he's the second best thing that could have happened to her. But if you had to be honest, you'd admit they're just a great couple.

(Let's clarify, here: imagine those two had been dating for almost two years, and you knew all about it, so it didn't come as a surprise when you stepped back into your former life.)

Where's the trouble, you ask? I'll tell you where's the trouble. Imagine that although you were totally OK with the idea and all, she gave every sign that she isn't. Imagine she was extremely flirtatious with you, even more than she had ever been when you were dating. Imagine she even did it when her boyfriend was around. Imagine the guy now hated you because he thought you were the one trying to steal his girl. Furthermore, imagine you were convinced, for many reasons, that she still loves you.

I like to think of myself as a very scrupulous and ethical person. Really. So at the end of the day, the whole thing just makes me sick. I very sincerely resent her for doing this to me, to her boyfriend and, ultimately, to herself. But let's face it: I won't be able to resist the temptation much longer.

There are three alternatives, as far as I can see:

1. Write her off, very slowly so she can't fight it, and just forget about the whole situation and go on with my great, exciting life;
2. Stop resisting, and just do whatever the hell I'm supposed to do here, and then just deal with it to the best of my hypocritical ability;
3. Apply one of my favorite recipes: "There is no problem so complex that it cannot be solved through inaction."

Being scrupulous and ethical, I am not usually a very courageous person, so I don't think I'll go with option number one. As a result, the issue is: which is the easier, number two or number three?

7 comments:

Jamy said...

I'd go with option 3. At least you can say you did nothing when the shit hits the fan.

S. said...

Option 4. Fuck one of her good friends immediately.

I mean, if things are going to become fucked up--then max out your cards so to speak.

There is no problem that should not be made bigger.

Simon Zelig said...

She's the kind of (perverted) girl whose best friends are mostly males.
So Option 4 isn't all that appealing to me.
The best course of action would be to get to Option 2 through Option 3. Jamy's right.

Unknown said...

LOL on option 3 which I have done in my day Simon. Actually I may have done all of these. If she persists you may have no choice but to go with option 1, especially if your defenses are weakening.

PatZ said...

option 5: hatch a plan with her to drug the dude and stuff him in a sack in an underpass and run away to vegas with her.

or option 3.

Anonymous said...

option 5

lead her on enough to convince her to go out with you. invite her boyfriend to come along and observe from a distance. when it becomes blatantly obvious that she wants to get in your pants, invite the boyfriend over.

have lovely evening discussing openly and bluntly (or in a passive aggressive fashion) what you think she has been doing and that you're not okay with it. leave and let them duke it out for themselves.

Sun Follower said...

I say #3. Nothing makes a bigger statement than simply givng the person in question nothing at all... not one thing.